COLEMANBALLS - 8
   General Football & Murray Walker
     
 

 

 


Colemanballs
: The art of letting the words come out before the brain is engaged, made famous by David Coleman but with very able disciples in Kevin Keegan, Bobby Robson, Ron Atkinson, Terry Venables....in fact it seems endemic amongst the football fraternity.

More Colemanballs:  
Index
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"No regrets, none at all. My only regret is that we went out on penalties. That’s my only regret but no, no regrets."
Mick McCarthy

"The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related."
RTE commentator

"And here goes Aguero, looking to relieve himself."
Mike Ingham

"He went in with his shuds stowing."
Gary Neville

"Lampard, as usual, arrived in the nick of time, but it wasn't quite soon enough."
Alan Parry

"Reading just had a great five-man move that involved everyone."
Phil Thompson

"Great striking partnerships come in pairs."
Nigel Spackman

"Hopefully Andy Carroll has only tweeted his hamstring."
Sam Allardyce

Brentford scored a last-minute winner four minutes from time."
Jeff Stelling

"There was nothing wrong with his timing, he was just a bit late."
Mark Bright
 

 


Murray Walker.

Murray Walker...well Murray and motor sport go together like cheese and onion and isn't F1 the worse without him! And with him came his 'Murrayisms', those mistakes that made us all laugh. But, bless him, perhaps he had a better excuse than most. If you are going to present a 200 mph sport you need to talk at the same speed and perhaps it's not surprising that brain and mouth weren't always in sync. A few Murrayisms....


"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna’s Lotus sounding rough?"

"And now excuse me while I interrupt myself."

"There’s nothing wrong with the car except that it’s on fire."

"I make no apologies for their absence; I’m sorry they’re not here."

"The lead is now 6.9 seconds. In fact it’s just under seven seconds."

"This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines – and not just up but down as well."

"There is Michael Schumacher. He’s actually in a very good position. He’s in first place."

"This will be Williams’ first win since the last time a Williams won."

"Stewart has two cars in the top five – Magnusson fifth and Barrichello sixth."

"He’s in front of everyone in this race except for the two in front of him."

"Either that car is stationary or it’s on the move."

"Warwick has overtaken Alan Jones and, in the process, moved up a place."

"You can now see that the gap between Mansell and Piquet is rather more than just visual."

"This is lap 54, after that it’s 55, 56, 57, 58."

T'here’s no damage to the car except of course to the car itself."

"If that isn’t a lap record, I’ll eat the hat I don’t normally wear!"

"And here comes Damon Hill in the Williams. This car is absolutely unique - except for the one behind it, which is exactly the same!"

"A sad ending, albeit a happy one."

"Mansell is slowing down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn’t! It’s a lap record."

"Senna first, Prost second and Berger third - that makes up the top four."

"With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."

"This would have been Senna’s third win in a row had he won the other two."

“..and Mark Blundell stops with his front wheels stationary.”

"I’ve just stopped my startwatch."

They're both super starters, but Mikka Hakkinen is a superer starter."

"Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him."

"Schumacher has made his final stop three times."

"And this is the third-placed car about to lap the second-placed car."

"With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go."

"I imagine that the conditions in those cars today are totally unimaginable."

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."

"Tambay’s hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."

"The first four cars are both on the same tyres."

"So this being Michael Schumacher’s tenth race in his 151st year in F1."

"The gap between the cars is 0.9 of a second, which is less than one second!"

"He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed."

"And the first five places are filled by five different cars."

"A mediocre season for Nelson Piquet as he is known, and always has been."

"In case you’re confused, Mansell has gone from seventh to sixth, from fourth to fifth, and is now third."

"Mansell is gazing at him through his microphone."

"It's lap 26 of 58 which unless I'm very much mistaken is half-way."

"I don’t know what happened, but there was a major malmisorganisation problem there."

"I don’t make mistakes. I make prophecies which are immediately proved wrong."

 

"If you gave Arsene Wenger eleven players and told him to pick his team, this would be it."
Andy Gray  

"Mario Balotelli is like Marmite - you either love him or hate him. Me, I'm in between
Joe Royle

"Villa will probably play a lot worse than this and lose."
Alan Parry

"If you need just a first eleven and four others, why did Columbus sail to India to discover America?"
Claudio Ranieri and the question which I’m sure has been on all our minds!

"Michael Owen will get double figures this season - or at least 10, possibly more."
Garth Crooks

"Without picking out anyone in particular. I thought Mark Wright was tremendous."
Graeme Souness

"Today was about our lack of ability to not produce the ability we've got."
Sam Allardyce

"There’s a certain amount of one-way shirt swapping going on."
Adrian Chiles

"If we'd kept a clean sheet tonight we'd have won 1-0."
Steve Cotterill, after a 2-1 defeat!

"I think the next United manager is already at the club. It could be either Ryan Giggs or Ole Gunnar Solksjaer, who isn’t at the club."
Mickey Gray

"It's winner takes all, but a draw will do."
Mark Saggers